Why Can't I Ever Find My Sock?

This morning, I was eating a delicios bowl of cereal. Oh, and I ate the cereal too. I then noticed that my pet llama was hungry. I went outside to give him some fresh veggies, when, WHAM! The door slammed shut. Now wasn't that just great! I suspect Nick has something to do with this! Anyhow, I had to find a way to get in my house. I decided to tunnel down, deep into the earth. I dud and dug for three days and three nights, through the lithosphere, the asthenosphere, the mantle, and finally, I hit another surface. I poked my head out of the hole, and found myself in a strange and unearthly place. I had stumbled upon the Middle-Earth! This legendary place was home to a wide variaty of humanlike beings, like hobbits, elves, orcs, and goblins. Middle-Earth had been undetected by man due to its strange, inner crust. It remains in the center of the earth, so humans cannot find it. I met up with my good pal and all-around chum, GOLLUM. He was a nice young hobbit, with a good heart and a knack for strangling people. I said hello, and asked if he had seen my sock. He said that he had not. By gun! Why can't I ever find my sock?