I am a Cowboy!

Hello, my mushy pals. Upon opening of a mysterious package upon my front door, I died. My soul then drifted up into the air, where I collided with Nick's nose. The powerful odor transformed my spirit into a duck. The duck waddled towards Toledo at a rate of 16 kilometer's per hour. The duck then walked into a farmer's market, where he purchased a photon cannon. The photon cannon blew up, and the duck was launched back into my body. I was alive again, but also a cowboy. I went to Texas to meet George Clooney. He autographed my purple tee shirt with a lemon-scented taco. Then I visited my uncle Hermie. Then George Clooney danced under the moon. The End.