The Dangers of altering Space and Time!

Yesterday, I was enjoying a pleasant walk in the park when suddenly, out of nowhere, a kitty jumps on my head. I yell, I shout, I ran around in circles, but the cat just kept clinging on my head. Now, this situation was quite unfortunate. How was I to enjoy my walk with a kitty on my head?
So, I took a stroll over to my orthodontist. I explain to him my dilemma, and he ponders the situation. Much to my surprise, though, He spontaneously morphs into a jar of turkey paste. I sighed and walked out of his office. If I had a dollar for every time he turned into a jar of turkey paste, I'd have one dollar.
Now picture the situation here: I am walking down the street with a kitty on my head and a jar of turkey paste that has a medical diploma. So then I happen to bump into my old friend Franklin. When I bumped into him, he fell into an open manhole and landed on a soft cushion. He then bounced back up and crashed into an orbiting satellite. Luckilly, he wasn't that close a friend.
I finally reach my destination. My friendly, everhelpfull McDonalds. If they cannot solve my problem, nobody can. They helped make a time altering machine that ran off grease and fat. I bought 17 McFlabby Supremes and a large fries, and a piece of NCH hair, and put them in the machine. It whirred and came to life, and the cat disapeared off my head. My pants also disapeared. And that, my friends, is why you should never mess with altering Space and Time!