Tangerines vs. Lemons!

Last tuesday, I was having a fine conversation with my old freind Ivan the Farmer, when a stray albino hippo walked up to me and ate my hat. Now, that got me into a pretty bad mood. I mean, really, who wants to get their hat eaten by a hippo? Especially a hippo from Nevada! I mean, hippos don't even live in Nevada! Do they? I think not! Well, anyhow, I felt peckish for a clam salad with extra shoe oil, so I walked over to my Arch-Nemesis's house, the crazy Baron of the Blue Peaks. He was playing a round of Mini-Golf, and asked if I wanted to join in. I walked away, because under his words lurked a threat. I becha he really was planning to secretly steal my rare, collector's edition Lima Bean Action Figure I got last year at the American Break-Dancing Convention. My, it was a fine day. I had set the record for most Ninja Flips done in a Tye-Dye Tuxedo in 14.3 seconds. I made the Tye-Dye Tuxedo on my spare time while I was singing to my pet rock. It really sotthes the soul. Sometimes my pet rock sings back. Has that ever happened to you? I find it quite silly, especially when it is a thursday. I mean, who ever heared of a pet rock singing on a thursday? I guess you all have because I tould you. If I forget to tell you, just ask and I will tell it again. You may scoff, but within the realm of the nonexistence theory, there is no proof that my pet rock is not singing. I made up the nonexistence theory one day while I was eating 'tots and listening to my pet rock sing soothing music. I thought, if it is impossible to find an atom's speed and position, how do we know the atom is moving? How do we know it exists? There I realized that there is no proof that anything exists, but there is no proof that anything does not exist. We know nothing, nothing at all, except perhaps how to do Ninja Flips. Anyways, the 'tots I was eating turned out to be stale and I went to my orthodontist for help. He tould me to brush after meals, and I promised that I would, so I walked home and pulled out of my refrigerator a nice, fresh tangerine. But then I realized lemons were much cooler, so I did a silly dance while shouting for all the world to hear, "Snooglephres!"